3 signs that you are attached to pain

You can have a joyful meaningful and vibrant life every day. It is all about focus and attention. Most of us are oriented at looking for what is wrong and what is missing emotional, physical, and mental. A mind looking for defects in a perfect imaginary creation of oneself, a mind looking for stories to be written. 

1: Do you recognize this question?

I remember one client in particular,  that stood up after the session and asked me ‘Where is the pain? Then he made a few very unkind, quirky moves, I heard a crack, I saw his body stiffen and he said “ah the pain is still there”.  I would almost believe he could not do without that aching sensation in his body. And maybe he indeed couldn’t. So often when we say goodbye to something, let go of it we enter an open empty space in ourselves. It can feel very awkward and unfamiliar. 

In transformation unfamiliarity is unavoidable. Many people confuse unfamiliar with uncomfortable. The fear of not knowing and not yet being able to make sense of it with the mind that is still circling round in its familiar loop of discomfort. And so often people turn around and run back into their habitual way of feeling instead of being with unfamiliarity and allowing it to reveal new options to sense, feel, think and move.

2: Do you believe something is wrong with you?

For generations, through cultural beliefs, religion, and marketing we grow up with the belief that something is wrong with us and somehow we are not enough: just look around at adverts and read the lines. Most lines start like:

Change your…

Improve your…

Become a better you…

Buy today or… 

Suggesting something is really off and if you don’t do something about it, you will even feel more lonely, unsuccessful, rejected, anxious, depressed. And over time your spark gets muffled underneath these messages. More so if people and media shout long enough at you, you unconsciously start to believe what they say. And you start sensing, feeling, thinking, and moving from this filter set of beliefs and thoughts. A habitual emotional and physical pattern wired for pain and worry is born. And it gives a lot of stress and tension to our nervous system. More so it has an unnecessary harmful impact on your overall health, vitality, and wellbeing.

3: How do you feel your body?

So what about these people that are oriented at feeling pleasurable sensations. I am not talking about numbing the sensations of pain but having room for a colorful palette of sensations. What are they doing differently?  Our body does tell us also about pleasure: A pleasurable zip of food, a delicious feeling movement, a caress, a nice smell, or even the relief of going to the toilet. Relief is a sensation of pleasure that expresses through a range of sensations varying from feeling ease, comfort to feeling joy. it expands and invites in more pleasurable sensations just as pain calls in more painful sensations. But we got to listen and to act upon the body’s suggestion to expand this sensation. Could it be that these people pay more attention to what their body tells them to do than to what they are told to believe?

I have seen in many of the problems that brought my clients to me that most pain and tension are inflicted by moving in a way that is disconnected from their body or by repressing what they feel. And most of the time a lack of self-awareness is at the base of feeling discomfort.

Self Awareness is the ability, to feel the contrast in sensations and to feel how you are doing what you do and how that is impacting you?

For this type of self-awareness, we need that spark of curiosity, that makes the unfamiliarity attractive and worth exploring. When our mind is preoccupied with limiting beliefs, pain, stress, tension, and tiredness, it stops us from feeling more of ourselves and stops us from being curious. It is time to relearn to honestly hear, tune in, and listen in with these voices that talk through body sensations, feelings and show themselves through movement, and playfulness. To become aware of our whole being instead of fragment ourselves. To open our eyes to what is true for each of us.

Are you willing to do the work to create more comfort, and joy in your life?

So let’s stop believing that we have to change, improve, or become. Let’s make an honest effort to reconnect with our inner resources. They are all there and have always been. Your job is to wake up, to wake them up, and to start using your gifts and your body’s gifts. Your spark task is to create something beautiful with what you have and who you are. Your joy task is to start the noble practice of self-care through attention and deep listening. Your play task is to discover ways of using your body that open you to these sensations of ease, comfort, and pleasure.

This fiery, lustering, vibrant spark of life, energy, love, spontaneity, creativity, childlike curiosity, and joy is waiting for you at the heart of your being. 

I promise you Seeing, sensing, feeling, thinking, moving, and behaving with your spark fully on, will present you with a different world inside and outside. Let’s move in the spark zone, in innate inner joy. 

I offer you a free mini-series of short Feldenkrais movement lessons that give you the tools to feel and use yourself differently. Get it here